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Monday, June 6th, 2005
2:30 am - Love will tear us apart...
I wish my life was different sometimes. Not like everyone doesn't, but there are just certain moments when I just can't help but breakdown.

My mom had another seizure fit again. It took the EMS people an hour to get her to stop. I hate it when they can't do anything for her. They're fucking trained to make things better, but they never seem to do their job.

My mom has been having seizures for as long as I can remember... and I'm pretty much the reason. As soon as I was born, her epilepsy came back into full swing. It sucks that there's nothing that can be done. I feel so helpless. It's almost like my dad and I have had to give up hope to be able to deal with this.

I hate it when my dad comes into my room in the middle of the night to tell me that mom won't stop seizing, and then refuses to let me help. He woke me up, and told me that he might need me, but as soon as I was up, he told me to go back to bed. Like I can go back to bed now. If he was so concerned about me getting enough rest for work tomorrow, he shouldn't have woken me up. He did leave for the hospital without telling me.

I've never seen my dad like this. It scares me a lot. He never shows his emotions, and I've seen him break down so many times because of my mom's seizures. We're all just so clueless.

I just don't know what to do. I wish there was someone I could talk to. No one understands what it's like to have a mom like mine.

Only five more hours until I have to put on a fake face, and be a responsible adult.

It would be easier if I were dead.

current mood: scared
2 infected| Cough, Cough!
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
8:33 pm - One more way to find me...

love is math or love is math@aol.com.

A new way to talk to me (as an alternative to iamgeeky).

I know... Geek.

 

Oh, and I love Gary. He's freaking awesome.



current mood: sleepy
2 infected| Cough, Cough!
Thursday, May 19th, 2005
9:30 pm - These are the lives we love to lead. Dance, Dance.
Total Conundrum.

I should never buy two cds within two weeks of each other.
I can't decide between Fall Out Boy or Bad Religion.
I like them both so much, and there is only one CD slot in the computer.

Testing is over. That's a relief. I'm done.

Now I need a job. Apparently, I'm not camp counselor material. Of all people, I'M not the right fit to be a camp counselor. Those people at Lakes Park are smoking crack.

I've spent too much money. I wish I could get my six dollars for Star Wars back. I felt like a Nerd, and it wasn't even worth it.

Any suggestions on what I can ask for for graduation? Anyone? My mom and dad asked me what I want, and I have no freaking clue.

I'm so close to being out of this town. It's amazing, but I feel like now I'm just condemned to spend an eternity here before summer ends. FSU better be better than this.

current mood: do I feel nerdy or geeky?
Cough, Cough!
Monday, March 28th, 2005
8:21 pm - MAO SCRAPBOOK

MARCH 29th (Tuesday... tomorrow):

10:30 am

Mrs. Terry's House

For directions: call Sara at 246 3234

Tell your friends... that want to help

1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Saturday, February 12th, 2005
12:13 pm - You can hear it from me:

The story:

        I passed out in TOK on Thursday. I rolled out of my desk and hit my nose on the corner of another desk before hitting the ground.

I DO in fact have a broken nose (the right side to be specific).

This is not the fault of the presentation (like I guess it is rumored to be). I am going to have some tests run because it could have been some form of anemia that caused it, stress, a seizure, an a-typical migraine, or a million other things.

To fix my nose, they will have to pull and lift the bone to reset it so my nose is back how it should be.

I may or may not be back in school on Monday, or Tuesday, or whenever, it depends on if my oncoming black eye swells shut or not.

So there's the scoop on my injury.

Thank you so much Amanda, Scarlett (sorry to steal your birthday thunder with my injury. Happy Birthday!), Leah, Shalani, Anisha, and Paula. I really appreciate all the stuff you brought me, and dinner was good... it's about all I can eat right now. I'm sorry I missed you guys on Thursday. Hopefully I'll talk to you all soon.

So if you still have any questions, concerns, or whatever, and you want to call me, my cell number is 246 3234.



current mood: Ouchy! It Hurts!
3 infected| Cough, Cough!
Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
10:34 pm - How to get a hold of someone more important than you...

I got a new cell phone. It's cingular (in case you care). It is all mine, meaning no more getting my parents if you want to get a hold of me. Take note:

 

THE NUMBER IS:

239 246 3234

I even have voice mail now, once I figure out how to set it up. So feel free to call me at the number. Spread the word, because if you call the old number, you'll get my grandma.

**** Sara ****



current mood: sleepy
Cough, Cough!
Saturday, November 27th, 2004
10:52 pm - I don't know why I care so much...
It seems like everytime I want something to happen, it never does. I should be used to the disappointment. After all, that's what my life is: ONE BIG FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT. I just wish something would go right every once in a while.

current mood: depressed is an understatement
1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Sunday, September 19th, 2004
3:17 pm - Good luck exploring the infinite abyss...
Well, Notre Dame won again last night against Michigan State. I think the apocalypse may be coming up soon. Two wins against the Michigan teams, I don't really believe it. I feel like I should be happier about this. It's not often that this sort of thing happens.

Lately I've felt like I've been missing out on life...
Oh well.

*** Sara Loves You***

current mood: Depression - jubilation in one
Cough, Cough!
Monday, September 13th, 2004
3:40 pm - Make your house a fortress... you'll sleep better.
I had the best night's sleep ever on Saturday night. Our house is all boarded up, and it's really dark, and there's NO LIGHT. I felt rested when I woke up, it was great.

Then there was the Michigan at Notre Dame game. Oh Lordy, it was AWESOME! 28 to 20. Michigan got what was coming. Man, I'm so impressed with their playing. Quinn, Walker, Holiday. We might have a chance this season. Glory, Glory, Hallelujah! My prayers have been answered. That completely made my crappy Saturday into an awesome Saturday.

The BYU loss is a little less painful now, too. I'm starting to think that I'm underestimating how good BYU is... oh well. Their win could have been a fluke, too, because Notre Dame was not ready for the football. Damn them adding the game onto the schedule at the last minute.

Now I must find out if there is school tomorrow.

*** Sara Loves You! ***

current mood: Notre Dame makes me happy
Cough, Cough!
Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
9:05 pm - I like how things come in twos...
Yesterday was a crappy day.

Today, not so much.

Money worked out at PDY. Gary, you're freaking awesome, and I'll love you forever. Paul and Zsolt, I would also like to thank you two for making me laugh so much. And I got to hang out with Shalani and Leah and Heather, and it was so much fun! Paula, also thanks for being my apprentice.

It was just a good day, things seemed to work right.

Favorite People of the Day:
1. Gary (Especially for the raptor stuff)
2. Paula and Zsolt and Paul and Anonymous
(Thanks to the later... your comment really topped off my day well).
3. Shalani, Leah, and Heather

I have stuff to do, I guess.

*** Sara Loves You! ***

current mood: Giggly like a school girl!
1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Sunday, September 5th, 2004
9:06 pm - Doesn't life suck?
It's so strange how one bad day can change your life.

I never realized how many people hated me.

And to top it off, Notre Dame just can't seem to win... ever.

It's times like these that make me want to die.

current mood: Why can't things be better?
2 infected| Cough, Cough!
Thursday, August 19th, 2004
10:50 pm - Zach Braff is awesome...

GARDEN STATE  is coming out tomorrow!!!

Yay!!!

I've been waiting for so long to see this movie. It's going to be awesome.

I think I'll go see it tomorrow night, but I don't want to go alone.

Anyone want to come with me? Call my cell: 410 8853

Oh, Happy Happy Day.

*** Sara Loves You! ***

P.S. The Postal Service rocks



current mood: Oh Joyous Day!
Cough, Cough!
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
10:02 pm - To my fellow math team people:

Good luck at nationals everyone! I hope you tear up the competition. I'm sad I won't be there with you guys. Bring me home lots of trophies. Lots of big trophies. Steal them if you have too, just bring them home. And just as a little incentive... for every trophy you win (or bring back with you), I'll give you a dollar. Maybe more if it's for like first place. Just do your best, because you're all awesome. Take your time, and remember check yourself. Try to catch your mistakes before it's too late. Make me proud(er than I already am to be on a team with you guys). And let me know how everyone does when you all get back. Have fun and best of luck! Sara (or God) loves you!

Pass this little inspirational speech on to the others, please.

Feel free to paraphrase if you'd like... or carry it with you and deliver it in a Sara-like way. Either way. Good luck!



current mood: geeky
3 infected| Cough, Cough!
Monday, July 19th, 2004
10:45 pm - Sara and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I suck at life.

My entire Summer has been shot to hell. Since Zack's car broke down, he's not coming to see me. So I don't get to see my brother before I go back to school. And because of that, I don't get to go see the Warped Tour either. My parents won't let me drive to St. Pete by myself to meet my Zack there and go to the concert with him. Why you ask? Someone will magically appear in my car while I'm driving and rape me. It's ridiculous how my parents don't trust me to be able to take care of myself. I like the point my brother brought up about him going away to college at 17, but that didn't help me any.

To top that off, I got 2's on two of my AP tests. One of which was calculus. That was totally heartbreaking because I worked so fucking hard to learn that stuff. I thought I did well.

Works pretty much sucked. They're starting to give me really crappy hours, and wouldn't give me a day off that I requested because of the damn "no tax week." They have me working nine hours one day until close, and then closing the next day, too. I lost a Friday and a Saturday because of those bastards. One of my last weekends of summer, and I'll be spending my time checking out people's school supplies and harassing them about Target Visa cards. It's bogus.

Zack told me that when his car broke down, and Molly's car broke down, he had tacos and everything was ok. So I went to Taco Bell today and had some tacos. It helped a little, but I'm in that "Sara and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day" mode.

The only good thing that's happened since I last updated was the movie "Bubba Ho-Tep." Bruce Campbell as a guy that thinks he's Elvis. It's a freaking awesome movie. I recommend that everyone goes out and rents it.

Oh, by the way...

Katie: I love the interests. They're very amusing. Oh, and I have the picture of when you and I made our Halloween costumes. It's a good picture.

Katie and Briton: I want to get you guys a going away present. Maybe something for your new apartment. What would you like?

*** Sara Loves You ***

P.S. To my math people: when is nationals?



current mood: Sleepy Panda
13 infected| Cough, Cough!
Monday, July 5th, 2004
7:38 pm
Thanks, Katie. I'm really going to regret giving you my password. I didn't have the panda one saved on my computer, it's lost now.
1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Sunday, July 4th, 2004
9:59 pm - San Carlos is a war zone!

There's one reason I love San Carlos Park. Deep down, it seems like all of us are just middle class white trash. Seriously, it seems like my neighbors, and several people around the neighborhood have spent like 10 paychecks on fireworks. REALLY GOOD FIREWORKS. The illegal kind. It's just a bunch of drunkards out playing with fire, young children, too. The smoke is so thick you can barely see like 10 feet in front of you. I seriously started thinking I was in like World War III. I love it. There are cannons going off outside my house. Rock on, just please God don't let my house start on fire.

I dyed my hair black today, now I just have to figure out what kind of hair cut to get. Any suggestions? I hate Ashlee Simpson, but I like her hair cut. I'm not sure, I may get it cut like that. I need to find a new person to cut my hair, too. Damn. I like my hair black, it's just a terrible hair cut I have. I work 8.5 hours tomorrow, so I'll be going.

*** Sara Loves You! ***

P.S. Hi Mom.



current mood: Fire! Fire!

1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
10:27 pm - To be young and Republican...

I just want to say I hate Michael Moore. Not because I'm a flaming Republican and Fahrenheit 9/11 pissed me off or anything like that. It's because he's totally playing both sides of the political spectrum!

To me, he comes off uber-liberal. He gives the Republican party hell, and completely reams them at every chance he gets.

This leads me to question why he was running for President of the NRA. The NRA is the most treasured of the Republican institutions in the world. That seems rather fishy to me.

Thank God he didn't get the position. That would have been terrible. He could never fill the shoes of Charlton Heston. That man will always be the president, even after they pry the gun from his cold, dead hands.

A little Moore/Bush...Collapse )
 

I'm glad I can't vote this year. I don't particularly want to see Bush back in office, but I sure as hell don't want to see Kerry there either. I don't think we have a suitable candidate for the next presidency. You may say I would be wasting my vote, but I don't think we should have to settle for the lesser of two evils. Neither of them want to do anything for the majority of the citizens of the U.S. They aren't going to make life any better for the middle class family. They haven't addressed the voters. Just please, don't vote for Kerry just because he's not Bush. To me, that's wasting a vote. Vote for who you believe in.

If you've read all of this, I'm sorry for ranting, but thanks for listening.

*** Sara Loves You! ***



current mood: Like A Flaming Republican
1 infected| Cough, Cough!
Tuesday, June 29th, 2004
8:30 pm - Feeling More Dead Than Alive...

If you've never heard the Smashing Pumpkins, or haven't listened to them in a while...

Pick up a copy of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. It's fucking amazing.

Work's ok.

If you're in the neighborhood... I work tomorrow night 5 - 10. Target on 41 and Daniels.

So I'll let you know
If you need, somewhere to go
I'll be listening when you call
And I'll be there if you fall off
If you need someone to believe in,
I'll let you know I will.

*** Sara Loves You! ***



current mood: Smashing Pumpkin Comatose
3 infected| Cough, Cough!
Friday, June 25th, 2004
10:11 pm - Life is Short... and so is Gary Coleman
My prayers have been answered!!!

Four reasons:

1) Anyone else notice the ARCADE that is going to be located in the plaza on Crystal Drive and US 41? God has given me an arcade!

2) Notre Dame is predicted to have a terrible season in '04 - '05. Brady Quinn and Julius Jones are back. Judging from recent history, this means that it'll be good! Notre Dame always does really well when the expectations are low. We're going all the way this year!

*** On a side note, why the hell does Notre Dame have such a tough schedule? It's one of the worst in the league. Cards are stacked against us.

3) I found really sweet shoes (two pairs), I just need money for them.

4) Sara has a date.

*** On another side note, I realized why I love Alkaline Trio so much. I got the Rock Against Bush comp. cd today. (I know, it's ironic). Anyway, it's pretty good, and as usual... the Alkaline Trio song is the best one on there. I applaud them.

Catch you on the flip side.

*** Like Rodney King once said,
"Can't we all just sing a song?"

current mood: I feel like I'm in Heaven
6 infected| Cough, Cough!
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004
8:51 pm - Wasting Words on Lowercases and Capitals...
Went to orientation today for work. I started at 1:30, and I left there at 7. I got 5.5 hours for something that should have only taken 3. I'm not complaining, because that's just $22.75 more in my pocket. Apparently the child labor laws say that minors aren't allowed to work more than 30 hours a week. I did not know that. So I'll be getting around 30 hours a week. It's cool. I was stupid enough to put that I was available from 8 am to 10 pm, so Friday and Saturday of next week, I work 5 to 10. Monday and Tuesday I work 11-4. Not bad hours, really. Target is going to become a Super Target next year. That's crazy.

Guess who's almost done with Wuthering Heights. I am! Woo-hoo. I only have like 30 pages left to read (2 chapters). It's not as bad as I thought it would be, but it's still not too great. I got the movie from the library, too. When I'm done reading the story, I'm going to watch the movie, and then wash my hands of the damned thing.

I went out looking for khakis the other day, and it's like they don't exist anymore. Even the Gay didn't have them! I have to find Khakis and Red shirts for work. Nicer shoes, too. Old velcros are wearing out a little too much. I'll love them always though.

Only like a month until Zack and Molly come down! Yay!! I'm so excited.

I'm off to bed, sitting in a room for 5.5 hours makes me sleepy.

Drop me a line. Sara loves you!

current mood: Sara is a sleepy panda
1 infected| Cough, Cough!
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